Research from the National Survey of Sexual Health (US) found that 8 out of 10 (77%) women have masturbated between the ages of 20-24. With men coming out at 9 out of 10 (92%).
Even with such high numbers, there is still a lot of guilt around this pleasurable topic.
In the past, the discourse around masturbation was heavily shaped by religions. It was highly condemned, and they claimed that engaging in it would result in a plethora of negative side effects. Come Eighteenth century, and it was health professionals who played a substantial role. Masturbation was medicalised as a disease that could lead to insanity and other serious health consequences. The discourse regarding the damaging consequences of masturbation on mental and physical health were deep-rooted in developmental research and theory up to the early 1900s. Even now, with “efforts to identify masturbation as a strategy to improve sexual health, promote relational intimacy, and reduce unwanted pregnancy, STIs, and HIV transmission, masturbation as a context for healthy sexual development has been met with silence or trepidation in the scientific and educational communities.”
Sadly, the current understanding of healthy sexual behaviour is simply being disease free. However, comparable to everyday life, being disease free does not equate one to being a healthy individual. Rather, like Edward and Coleman conceptualises, sexual health should not just be “the absence of disease but also the ability to understand and integrate sexuality into one’s life and derive pleasure from it”.
Even with the positive effects that masturbation has been proven to have (promote body positivity, self-esteem and sense of identity, improve sexual satisfaction and health), there is a lot of guilt surrounding it. Even with feelings of pleasure, individuals would still feel shameful or stigmatised. Reports show that these guilts are influenced by perceived social norms. There is lack of communication regarding the topic, especially within families, with most individuals learning about masturbation through peers and the media. Their research highlighted that many young adults have strong narratives regarding masturbation that were specific to gender and reflected traditional double standards. This basically meant that it was seen as more of a guys’ thing and something women felt more guilty about. It even meant that when parents did talk to their kids about it, sons received the talk more than daughters.
So basically, there’s still this crazy double standard happening which we further perpetuate through peers, the media and by simply not talking about it more, especially at home! Because by not talking about it at home, we come to believe it is something we should not do, hence don’t talk about. Or, even worse, we are unaware of masturbation!
So let’s change the contradiction from:
“It felt so good but I felt so horrible”
to
“It felt so good and I felt so good”
– women everywhere
Kaestle, C. E., & Allen, K. R. (2011). The role of masturbation in healthy sexual development: Perceptions of young adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 983–994. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-010-9722-0
Female masturbation! 